February 28, 2014 Bangalore, India
Q: Gurudev, it has been said in the Yoga sutra ‘Tivra samveganam asannaha’ (Those who seek liberation wholeheartedly without feverishness attain liberation quickly). For liberation does one need speed or peace?
Sri Sri: Yes, you need a quick pace. Often when we need to do something good, we say 'Inshaallah!' (an Urdu wish meaning ‘May God will it so’), and we often say that if God thinks it best it will happen, etc.
When it is for ourselves, if we want a car or a job, we put in our full effort to get it. However, for other things, we say, if God wishes it will happen.
If it is about coming to the Ashram, you conveniently say, when Gurudev wishes, he will call me there. When have I ever told you not to come, or not to meditate, but you say, when the calling comes, I will be there.
If you have to go out for a movie or to a restaurant, then you don’t say that only when God calls you will go. For your own entertainment, you do things at your own will, but when it comes to doing your sadhana (spiritual practices), you say that only when God wills, it will happen. Your mind is very clever at doing this.
Whatever gains you want in life, leave it to karma or fate, but liberation is in your hands and depends on your purushartha (efforts).
Q: Gurudev, when opposite values are complementary, does it mean that when more people meditate, more people will express negative tendencies like jealousy and violence?
Sri Sri: You never know (laughter).
All these negative emotions are distortions of love. They are off-springs of love. If there is no love, there can’t be jealousy. If there is jealousy that means there is love.
Arrogance is too much love for oneself. Jealousy is too much love for another person. Anger is too much love for another person or object. Greed is too much love for objects.
Anger is love for one‘s own concepts and perception. An angry person will think, ‘I perceive things to be like this’, and if they are not like that, then he gets angry.
So, almost every negative emotion is a distortion of love.
Q: Gurudev, if peace is our nature then what makes violence arise?
Sri Sri: Weakness or fear is the root of violence. The fear of extinction or rejection causes violence. Stress causes violence. Stress is also a kind of weakness. Stress or tiredness and no strength is weakness and causes violence. Lack of awareness of one’s strength causes violence.
You can think about what are the things that cause violence and you can make a whole list.
Attachment also causes violence. Extreme passion without wisdom can cause violence. You hear all these stories in the newspaper. Two people who initially love each other and they later become so violent to each other, that they kill each other. Haven’t you heard of these things?
All over the world, you hear of people who have fallen in love and then later stabbed each other. It’s unbelievable. So wisdom is essential. Just love or passion is not enough.
Love without wisdom is misery. If you don’t have wisdom and are not balanced, then that can cause violence. But if you are totally dedicated to something, then that is different. Then you don’t lose your wisdom.
Nowadays when you read the newspaper or switch on the television, every day, you get some such story, and there may be many more such incidences that go unreported.
Q: Gurudev, in your occupation, is it a big occupational hazard that people get attached to you? How do you handle it?
Sri Sri: Don’t even ask me that! (laughter) There are many occupational hazards. Many times I keep walking and someone holds my legs from behind. I have to balance myself to not trip and fall many times. People should listen. See now you are all sitting. When I exit also, you should remain seated. Nobody should get up and run.
I say it all the time and when you get up, that is when you give a chance to these thieves to steal. They come in groups. One will push the others, and pretend to show a lot of devotion and the other will pickpocket at that time.
Can you imagine that they have a gang? They have psychologically studied us very well. When Jai Jai Radha Raman (a concluding devotional song in Art of Living Satsangs) is being sung, everybody is totally immersed in the bliss of the Satsang, and that is the time when they will push someone and pick their pocket from behind.
You all should cooperate and stay seated to prevent such incidents. Anyway, I meet everyone.
I don’t feel comfortable when people fall over each other and elderly ladies and children are pushed down on the floor. Some people will run ahead and overtake the others and approach me before them, saying, 'Gurudev, please bless me'. Then I feel there is something wrong.
So one person will push and try to come forward, and his partner in crime will then pick your pocket from behind in the midst of this confusion.
Some of these old time devotees, though you can’t even call them devotees, they just won’t listen at all. They will jump over people to come to the front and sit and create chaos. I don’t know what to do.
(A member in the audience suggests that such people should be punished). Yes, I am thinking what punishment to give them. They spread indiscipline. It is not in my nature to say no to someone or to be harsh, but these people don’t let me be myself. I have never used any bad words other than calling someone ‘stupid’, or scolded anyone. I don’t know how to be stricter than this. But they are testing my patience.
It is okay. There are all kinds of people in this world and we need to accept everyone.
Q: Gurudev, is it more important to keep oneself happy or others around happy?
Sri Sri: See, both are important. If you have become a saint or a sanyasi (one who has renounced everything), then you need to keep others happy, but if you are a samsari (one leading a worldly life), then you need to keep yourself and others happy.
Like a cycle has two wheels, you need to balance both. If you are only trying to make others happy, then you yourself will become sad and if you are sad, then how will you keep others happy?
If you are only interested in keeping yourself happy, then the people around you will be sad and if they are sad, how can you stay happy? Both are dependent on each other, so take the middle path and be happy and keep others happy.
Take time out for yourself. Take care of your own health too and then you can keep others happy. You mustn’t be adamant to always get your way. Sometimes you need to give in and keep others happy too. You must not always insist that only what you say or believe should be followed. No, adopt the middle path. Sometimes listen to others, and sometimes also follow what you feel.
Q: Gurudev, love is a divine quality. It is said that love can liberate us, but it is seen that love actually binds us. Marriage is also seen as a bondage. So how can this bond be beautiful?
Sri Sri: When there is no selfishness in the relationship then it is beautiful. If there is willingness to sacrifice in the relationship, then it becomes beautiful.
Look at the relationship of Shri Ram with his brother Bharat. It was such a strong bond but both of them were willing to sacrifice anything for the other. Such a relationship where there is no selfishness, is a beautiful one. In such a relationship, there is lot of love and peace.
Q: Gurudev, when there is a conflict between two things and both feel right, then how do you choose?
Sri Sri: Relax. If there is confusion, relax. The right thing will come up by itself. Choose whatever gives happiness in the long term. Even if it is not so pleasant in the short term, it doesn’t matter. What gives you happiness temporarily but results in suffering in the long term, then that is not a good option.
Q: Gurudev, how can one be in choiceless awareness, so that we know what choices need to be made in the present moment?
Sri Sri: If a piece of charcoal and a banana is kept in front of you to eat, what is your choice? Is there a choice? Think about it.
When you don’t know that it is a banana or charcoal then there is a choice. But if you know that the banana is edible and the other is a charcoal, then where is the choice?
Knowledge brings wisdom which brings clarity. Confusion means lack of wisdom and no clarity at that moment. Then how to bring wisdom? Relax and meditate.
Q: Gurudev, out of 20 minutes of meditation, I can meditate only for 1 minute, the rest of the time I feel I am talking to you. Am I dreaming or are you really talking to me at that time? Sometimes I open my eyes slightly to see if there is someone.
Sri Sri: It’s okay, you can do the 2% meditation.
Look, sometimes, with eyes closed, we start dreaming and get transported into the fantasy world of our mind, which is called the Manorajya. With eyes open, we are in the outside world. In between the two is silence. Not too much of the outer world and not too much of fantasizing also. We need to meditate in between these two.
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