QNA WITH SRI SRI
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 13, 2015

Q: You have said in the Satsang that the daughter-in-law should try to win the hearts of her in-laws by serving them. Does this not apply to the son-in-laws also? Why is it that while the daughter-in-law accepts and serves her in-laws as her own, the son-in-law does not do so?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: See, the son-in-law only visits his in-laws (the wife’s parents or family) during the festivals like Holi or Diwali. He does not go there every day, isn't it? But the daughter-in-law is at the home of the in-laws all the time.

Had this been a question from someone from Kerala, I would have given some suggestions to the son-in-law. In Kerala, it is the son-in-law who stays back at his wife’s house with her family, and not the other way around (referring to the matriarchal system of lifestyle in Kerala). In Kerala, the son leaves his own home and not the daughter. It is also the case in Meghalaya and Tripura.

But this is right. The son-in-law should not stay like a guest in the house. He should have that belongingness with his in-laws and live harmoniously with everyone around.

I feel that the sons-in-laws today do not behave like this. Yes, this used to happen one generation back. In some families, the son-in-law used to stay a bit aloof from his wife’s family. Nowadays I don’t think that is the case.

See, as a daughter, your mother has scolded you so many times and you have also fought with her when you were growing up, but you never felt hurt. But if your mother-in-law does just 10% of that, you feel so hurt and start burning from the inside.

Your mother and mother-in-law are of the same age and belong to the same generation. So you should see them both as equals, and take whatever they tell you in your stride.

If you had a fight with your mother one day, the next day you would quickly patch up and sit with her as if nothing had happened, isn’t it? The same thing you should follow with your mother-in-law also. This is what I say, you should win everyone over with love and service. And be happy and full of enthusiasm always. What else do you need?

Did you get what I mean? See, you will be able to grasp all this if your mind is free and open, and if you are willing to receive. If your feelings are positive, and if you are willing to receive, then there is so much for you to take. If your mind is closed and entangled in small petty things, then even if you take ten dips in the River Ganges, nothing will come out of it.

When you become hollow and empty, then you can receive so much more.

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